Your Fraternal Twin

The following is the text of a speech I delivered at the Area level contest of Toastmasters.

It is one from my heart. Not only do I start with a personal incident, the whole speech is based on my personal belief of the importance of public perceptions. One that I believe with every fibre of my existence.

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Way back in my 8th grade I transferred to a new school. I was the only new kid in the class. Everyone else knew one another from grade 1.

Being shy and reserved only made it worse for me. I tried to become invisible, meld into the walls and the desks.

I never answered any questions let alone raise questions. You would not hear a single word escape from my mouth.

Because I kept to myself I was perceived as not too bright up here....until an event took place with far reaching consequences.

It was the first term exams. I performed so well my teachers were amazed. My Economics teacher commented that she was pleasantly surprised by my performance while my Physics teacher asked if I had cheated on the exam!!

And just like the caterpillar that transforms into a beautiful butterfly my image was magically transformed from that of the class dunce to one of its whiz kids.

Think of your perceived image , your brand as your fraternal twin. Why...because it is a lot like you but not exactly like you.

And therein lies the whole problem. Our public perceptions rerely reflect our true inner worth.

We all have a fraternal twin. One that gladly interferes in our affairs and wreaks havoc if unmanaged.

And people may cling to your twin not because they dislike you but because it is so much more convenient.

Now an 8th grader's story may not convince you about the ease with which people form mis perceptions but a Harvard University study just might...

The study involved 2 groups of students. One group watched a lecture given by a professor of Statistics and the other group a lecture given by a professor of Humanities. The Statistics professor was perceived as being cold and distant. The Humanities professor warm and caring.

Now here is the rub, they were both the same person!!!

What we do for a living greatly influences how others perceive us.

My 8th grader story had a happy ending. My test scores made all the difference. All misperceptions were cleared away.

However when it comes to your career your fraternal twin assumes an entirely new level of significance.

It is your fraternal twin that is responsible for your salary and career advancements.

You could do all the right things. Work hard, take on additional responsibilities, go the extra mile and hope you get promoted into management. But your evil twin just might be working against you.

As a result, when your bosses meet they might say " You know ....I just don't think he is management material" ... end of discussion!

It is human nature to form quick impressions of others. Unfortunately rarely do people go beyond first impressions.

Laws of Human Nature

1) People make emotional decisions and then rationalize it with facts and logic

2) If someone likes you they may see you as entirely good and omit your failings.This is called the Halo effect. The converse of this is called the 'Horn' effect.

You cannot fight such a deep rooted systemic prejudice. We are not just victims we are perpetrators ourselves.

Instead we can flow with it by doing a few things.

First make friends with your fraternal twin , get to know him. As bright as I was academicaly I was not aware of the damage my public perception was inflicting on me. Do not let that remain a blind spot for you.

Second help your fraternal twin make friends with others. By this I mean that once you are happy with the kind of perception you want to project make sure others get it,. People cling to old perceptions..you have to work to change them.

Over 2 centuries ago George Berkely, an Irish Philosopher proclaimed , "To Be is to be Perceived."

Remember...don't let your twin win.